Understanding Habit Formation and Transformation

How do habits get formed?

It is important to understand the complete process of habit formation. It is impossible to change something that has been practiced for so long (possibly even in the previous births) without fully understanding the root cause. Thoughts are the seeds from which the habits stem out. Habit cannot change till the seed (thought) that sprouted the habit is changed.

The deep habit developed because it was used many times. We are trapped in a vicious cycle of thoughts, actions, personality traits, and that drives us again to the same kind of thought.

Changing only the action and not the seed (thought)

Sometimes change at the action level also helps in reducing the intensity of the habit. For example if we have the habit of eating dessert after the meal and now we want to give up due to being overweight. Then thoughts to eat a dessert might keep arising in us, but we can atleast control it at the action level by not bringing dessert at home or keeping ourselves distracted. This way if we have not eaten dessert for a few days, then the intensity of the habit reduces. Can this method eradicate the habit fully though? Most likely not because the root cause of the habit has not been addressed. Our personality trait (Sanskaras) will keep sprouting the thought that prompt us to use the action that we are trying to give up.

Changing the Thoughts by Understanding the Sources of Thoughts

At Brahma Kumaris we are taught to go to the deepest level so that the issue is eradicated at the root level. We need to understand the source that is responsible for the thought and change it at that level so that a new set of thoughts are generated by the mind. New thoughts would automatically generate new sets of habits.
Three main sources for our thoughts exists:
1. Belief Systems:

• Adopted during upbringing, culture, religion, schooling, etc
• Beliefs related to the self identity (I am a body, relation, role, etc)
• Beliefs about life (tough, challenging, difficult)

2. Current Information:

• Absorbed through news, social media, gossiping, etc
• Vibrations (positive or negative) of people close to us
• Information absorbed through five sensory organs

3. Past Experiences:

• Personality traits developed in this or previous birth
• Trauma or accident experienced in this or previous birth

How to change habits?

1. Temptation Analysis

The habit has been adopted by us because it is giving us some sort of benefit. We are very logical beings and behind every action there is a reason. For example, eating a dessert after the meal enables us to experience momentary pleasure. Smoking a cigarette gives us temporary relaxation. We need to keep asking ourselves multiple questions till we fully understand the reason for development of the habit. What is causing the stress? Why are we not experiencing happiness? What is the root cause of sadness in life? Is this habit giving me long term profit or loss? How long does the feeling of peace or happiness last through this habit?

2. Identification of the source

Identify the source of the thought that caused the habit to develop and be sustained. In the majority of cases the belief that happiness and stress comes from outside is the root cause. We use one of our sensory organs and rely on an object, person, or action to experience peace, love, and happiness. We have programmed it in our minds that this action gives us a lot of comfort. Hence the spirit craves to experience happiness and repeatedly directs the body to perform the same action.

Example: Understand how cigarette smoking habit developed

a) Belief Systems: 

• Life (work, people, situations) is difficult, challenging, and stressful

• Body needs the cigarette as it relaxes the nerves and mind

• Smoking relaxes and comforts me

b) Current Information: 

• Project deadline is approaching and hence I am forced to smoke more due to increased pressure and stress

• Smoking with others strengthens the habit because we receive their vibrations that smoking is a huge stress reliever

• Reading negative news and working non-stop

c) Past Experiences: 

• Thinking about all the bad things that have happened in life

• I am a weak and do not have determination to give up smoking

• I have failed giving up smoking in the past, so there is no point trying again

3. Adoption of New Sources of Thoughts

In step #2, we identified the various sources that caused the creation and sustenance of the habit of smoking. New sources have to be used to adopt new habits. Adoption of the new sources automatically starts the slow and steady eradication of the old sources.

Transformation through new sources:

a) Belief Systems: 

• I am a soul, an eternal, imperishable, and conscient energy.

• I, the spirit, is the creator of peace, love, and happiness. 

• Peace, love, and happiness are my innate qualities.

• I have to create through my thoughts what I want to experience

• My life is beautiful and I am a fortunate being

b) Current Information: 

• I am a master of my mind and body, and not a dependent

• I am a powerful being, the mind and body are my servers

• The power of my peaceful vibrations is calming my mind and body

c) Past Experiences: 

• I, the soul, started the journey of life with complete purity, peace, love, and happiness.

• I am the creator of the habit, and I can change it

• I have changed many habits in the past

4. Activation of Conscious Mind in Meditation 

Activate the conscious mind repeatedly throughout the day by reminding the benefits and loss from the habit (Step 1 to 3)

We are running on an auto pilot mode (habit driven), and it is great if the habit that is causing us to execute without thinking on an auto pilot mode is accurate and powerful. Some habits that are causing us damage need to be switched from doing things without thinking (auto mode) to doing things with deep thinking and decision making (manual mode). The manual mode is triggered when we feed to our conscious mind (intellect) the harms of a habit that we are trying to give up and the profits from the new habit that we are wanting to inculcate. Everyday we need to remind ourselves 5-7 benefits from the new habit and 5-7 damages from the old habit. In meditation let's awaken our intellect by giving it the food of knowledge (what is good vs. bad for us). Once the intellect is active, it will trigger the mind to create two types of thoughts. One of them will be based out of the old habit and the other thought will be about forming a new habit. As we trigger the intellect daily in meditation, our mind will slowly start creating thoughts about the new habit and our actions will stem out of the new habit.

5. Self Reflection Exercise Everyday

Check your progress by writing a journal everyday

The right and consistent attention to a habit is key to eradicating it fully. Signing self off the moment we fail or within a few days is not the right attention. Nor is being careless and forgetting about the intention to change a habit is the right attention. Taking a few moments every day to note down the steps we took forward and backward in transforming the habit is the right attention. This kind of accurate focus enables the energy that is needed for transformation to flow. Where the energy flows, the seeds of transforming a habit automatically grow. I spend minutes everyday before sleeping to write down a journal of self progress.